The Dreams, They Can Be Odd.

All right, I wasn’t gonna tell you guys about this ridiculous dream I had, but I’m desperate for material, so here goes:

The other night, I dreamed that for some bizarre reason, floppy man-boobs had become all the rage for the American male — it was the latest fashion trend, celebrated from the runways of New York to the movie studios of Hollywood, and I wasn’t having any of it: No man-boobs for me! I finally woke up during a TV commercial for a product called “8 Weeks to Swingin’ Man-Boobs.”

I couldn’t even begin to guess what was up with that nonsense.

What follows is, sadly, not a dream, but reality: I did a little more puppy-sitting today, and it was quite the three-ring circus of doggy bodily functions (if you’re eating, stop reading now). When I went next door to let the puppies outside, I found that one of them had vomited all over the other one — but there was so much puppy ralph, I couldn’t tell which dawg was the puker, and which the pukee. On top of that, they were both doing their best to — yuck! — consume the puke, so I was more or less juggling two vomit-covered puppies who were scrambling to lick each other. After much sloppiness, I managed to get them both cleaned up and out of the house, where one of them continued to throw up. Every time that happened, the other puppy came a’ runnin’ like the dinner bell had been rung, so I’d fight her off and kick dirt over the puke. After letting the beasts scamper around the yard for awhile, I brought them into my house, where more vomiting occurred. Finally, the pups fell asleep.

Oh, but there’s more: when the pups woke up, I was pleased to see that the wave of vomiting had passed. I took them outside again, in hopes that they’d relieve themselves. Meanwhile, Einstein (the big dawg in the yard) wandered over and began — you know, peeing. And of course, one of the puppies chose that moment to walk under Einstein.

And so I found myself carrying a urine-dripping puppy into my house, to the bathtub, where I gave her a bath with lots of shampoo. Afterwards, I mopped up the drips leading from the front door to the bathroom and put the puppies back in their house. But look how cute!

(Note: no vomit and/or urine in the following video — only cuteness).

In less messy news, work continues apace — wow, I’ve always wanted to say that, and now I have — on part 4 of Pete, Drinker of Blood. As I’ve mentioned before, this fourth installment marks the halfway point of my little serial novel, and this is a good time to pick up the first three parts, if you likes yourself some urban fantasy and vampire action. Especially if you likes yourself a fair amount of humor in your urban fantasy and vampire action.

Also making notes on the breakdowns for that Logan’s Run comic I’ll be writing. Man oh man, I can’t wait to cut loose on those scripts.

I’ll be taking next week off from the blogging (but not from the writing), so things will be quiet around here until Monday, May 7. With any luck I’ll have seen The Avengers by then (and if you see it before me, no spoilers!).

About Scott

Scott S. Phillips has written in almost every capacity imaginable: films, TV, comic books and even dialogue for talking dolls. His most recent novel is PETE, DRINKER OF BLOOD. He's also the author of the novels SQUIRREL EYES and FRIDAY THE 13TH: CHURCH OF THE DIVINE PSYCHOPATH, as well as the short story collection TALES OF MISERY AND IMAGINATION. Scott wrote the screenplay for the cult action flick DRIVE (recently named "The Best American Martial Arts Movie Ever Made" by Kung Fu Cinema), and wrote 12 episodes of the CW Network's KAMEN RIDER DRAGON KNIGHT. Perhaps most importantly, he once performed as stand-in for the legendary Lemmy in a Motorhead video. View all posts by Scott

2 comments on “The Dreams, They Can Be Odd.

  1. Bob Vardeman on said:

    So one puppy is named Alicia and the other Silverstone?

  2. KJ Waters on said:

    Wow, man boobs, puppy barf, and urine. You sure know how to blog, Scott! Ga-ross! But as always entertaining. Glad you’re getting your PETE part 4 done. Send me a link to your older stuff so I can tweet cha.

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